Who doesn't love Jennifer Lopez? She's got a acting career, a singing career and a great big ass! No real acting career anymore you say? Don't give a crap about her music? Well 1/3 ain't bad...
I'm sure she has had a whole bunch of albums by now. There has to be! I mean I've seen the videos. I can even remember some of the lyrics. Like the one where she's wearing the tight white pants. She sang something about comforting her and what I gotta do to get a piece. I didn’t listen to much cause I know damn well I'm not gonna get a slice. So why did I watch the video then? If you asked yourself such a question you might be:
A) A Female
B) A Homosexual
C) Clueless
So the Question here is who are the videos marketing too? I mean I watched the videos and now I fantasize about her and want to use her butt as a pillow. I guess I'm expected to go pick up her latest album. Just one problem. I don't give a crap about her music!
With that in mind it would seem marketing the videos are pointless right? Wrong! The sexy videos with J'lo shaking her ass and talking about doing "it" with you are actually marketing towards girls.
You guys must be thinking now, "hippie are you telling me dat the girls 'round me want to get wit' Jenny?" ... NO DUMBASS!!! Girls are going buy the music because they like the guys that like Jennifer Lopez. Get it? Jeeze do I got to explain everything to you?
Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Cause they're ugly and they smell funny. Girls are generally insecure. Worried about how they look. How popular they are. Worrying about who's going to ask them out. Hoping no one notices how they smell. Long story short, put in the nicest way possible, girls are fricken crazy! So where does J'lo and her manufactured pop tunes come into play? It's really quite simple; girls want guys, guys want Jennifer Lopez, girls want to become Jennifer Lopez, girls buy crappy pop music.
Well that explains that! Guys it's all your fault! You inadvertently spawned crappy music. Did you ever think of the consequences of looking at Jenny's ass? I hope your happy with yourself! Now every celebrity, with a big butt, is gonna shake their ass all over to try and hook you and before you know it you guys will be wondering why all the women around you are walking like the got something "all up in it". Well now you know. The girls are crazy because you made them that way. At least all the crazy women aren't worried about how fat their asses are. Fat ass women, also your fault...
So remember next time you look at a nice big celebrity ass consider the consequences of your actions!
Unless you have been living in a cave over the last couple weeks you have probably seen or at least heard about Lindsay Lohan's topless pics in the February edition of New York magazine. That's gotta be something to get excited about right?
